in my father's words, its a 'cocked up system'

:(

i hate the feeling i get when i know that the lecturers probably just chucked me to a company that i dont feel i deserve.

Maybe the qualities this company wants is an attentive, dog-like person and not someone who is good at this or that? if i knew that the reason is that, i would be totally heartbroken and uncontrollable.

my friend xueting got into the company architects 61. i cant help feeling jealous. its because shes like the person who attends school the least but still she got such a company. I've planned to make 2008 a much happy year but ths itp posting thing makes me go back to square one all over again.

Even people like jiawei and reynold get posted to a company called design one and they're paid $500. Theres some form of highness n the $500.

What is there to boast about my AC CONSORTIUM? i went to the website and it seems like rubbish to me. do the lecturers really look down on me so much?

Whats the fucking use of bickering myself up to go to school more often when i get such a company.

INDUSTRIAL DESIGN.

most of everyone else gets architecture and i get industrial design.

is this a hint that they feel like i shouldnt be in this course???

Or is it because they 'KNOW' that i wouldnt care about which company im chucked to because im seemingly a dont care person in their eyes and hence, i wouldnt be bothered by the company.

SERIOUSLY. Just because i SEEM that way doesnt mean that i AM that way.

I tried to go to school more often and this is what i get.

i still dont know who is my partner.

I still have hopes that it will be someone good:(

i really really hope so.

if its somone i dont want to mix around with, i would be extremely heartbroken.

oh well on the bright side at least im getting 440 instead of the 290 that fathi said that hes getting.

And i'll treat this as a lesson learnt.

Even though the others will probably learn more things on architecture than myself since they're posted to real architecture companies, i will try my best.

I really do not like the feeling of being an extra.

my fucking esteem has gone down alot.

i feel sad.

sad to the max:(

all i can do is to smile at my mother pretending its a good company.

in fact from what i see the company's crap:(

oh well i HAVE to make a good impression and hope that the company gives me an A.