rubbish

Honestly,
all these sitting, waiting wishing.
all the day-dreaming.
all the heart-pounding moments and sighs.
having to drag my feet everyday
having to tolerate their ignorance, their groans and their yawns
having to pretend
.
how i wish i could spend the rest of my life
indulging in the richness of the world
not having to hear others yearning for the greener side
living the perfect life
.
however
would it be the perfect life?
i would be alone
probably thinking the same things im thinking now
thinking that i'm the saddest being on earth
yearning for the greener side
thinking that others are better off

so yes. there is no greener side.
the green grass grows all around.
the green grass grows all around.

ok. i duno what im writing.
i realised sth. i still kinda like someone. OH NO!
c la you stupid *****i want you out of my life bodohead.
k im spouting rubbish. its 3.47 now and im still not asleep.
so what if i sleep early
yesterday i slept at 11.30 and guess what .. i woke up at 1.30
so ya. sleeping early doesnt work on me
my parents should let me go out at night
at least i wont be wasting my time at home infront of the computer, wasting electricity, watching the apprentice/csi/ellen degeneres/tyra banks show on tv. then 'pretending' to sleep at 6 because that is the time my mother wakes up, then waking up late wasting my life away.
with a blog, at least i have a purpose for coming online. instead of wasting my life away chatting on msn, viewing fashion websites, poking into people's business in friendster, seeing perezhilton.com and all the other celeb websites, seeing other people's blogs, doing quizzes. honestly, the things i do on the www= nonsense+damaging myself even more by envying other people's lives. heh. seriously, everyone seem larger than life on the internet. even my good friends. gahh. when i make a new friend. i find them really nice, friendly, easygoing etc. then when i check out their friendster, *bam* they either have a whooping 5000 no of testimonials or a pathetic number. then i change my impression of them. then when i see them again in real life, i see them as normal people. understand? sorry, but i just have to let that out.